If and when I get pregnant again I will be entering a new territory. I had false reassurance with pregnancy #5 and thought everything would be fine. I was taking my medicine after being diagnosed with MTHFR. I was told "we found your problem". . . "do this and you should be able to carry to full term". I believed them. I had hope when I had that positive test and then my world crashed down again and no amount of folic acid and blood thinners made the difference.
I failed again even with treatment. That's a hard pill to swallow let me tell you.
So next time I will not be entering the pregnancy as a normal happy momma with a two-lined pee stick in her hand thinking of puppies and rainbows and what I'm going to name the pink bundle of joy. I will be entering it as if I was at war. . . me against my body. I will assume I will not stay pregnant because statistically I've failed 87% of the time. I will enter this pregnancy and not even relax even the slightest until I hear a heartbeat. Then I will not breathe fully until that baby is in my arms outside of my body where the war has been waged. I can safely assume in my next pregnancy that I will not breathe at all for 9 months, but who can blame me? This is a whole new territory for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment