I'll get answers tomorrow...will they be what I want to hear or will I be disappointed? I have no clue.
On one hand I want to hear that this is just crappy luck but at the same time I want to have a reason for this...I want a reason to hold on to so we know that we can fix it and PREVENT this from happening again. If there is a definite answer to our issues then there must be a solution right?
I'm not usually an unlucky person, I have an awesome husband and a pretty home. Nothing "stereotypically" bad has happened to our family. We're stable. I guess that's why this hurts so bad, we plan and plan and do the right thing. We made sure we could afford (within a reasonable degree) to have kids and made sure everything was in place before trying for a second baby. If I was 16 years old and had a boyfriend of 2 months I'd get knocked up with the first "accident". If we would have renovated our damn kitchen this past February and not put money into our savings account and paid my car off then I'd probably be pregnant. Just because that's how life goes it seems. At least that is what my bitterness is telling me.
There is also a thought out there that I've encountered that I should be happy because I have Jack. Trust me, I am happy with Jack and my inability to get or stay pregnant doesn't decrease my contentment with my first son. Why I have to even explain that to people I don't understand. Sometimes other people's (well meaning) comments are the most hurtful of all.
I don't understand how some women deal with this for years...I hope I am not one of them.
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