I struggle with wanting this pregnancy to end and for her to get here and trying to cherish the last few weeks that I'll ever be pregnant for the rest of my life. It's such a hard chapter to close especially since I'd love to have at least another child. I thought I'd have 3 kids. That is just not possible, I literally can not do this again emotionally, financially, physically, or mentally. It's too hard. I don't even think my OB or my high risk perinatologist would recommend a third pregnancy. This time around has been pretty bad with medicine side effects and there have been times I thought I couldn't handle it.
So I sit here watching my belly roll around and her kick. I am trying to enjoy being pregnant and attempting to ignore the extreme pain I am in because of her position and my cerclage. I truly am happy to be pregnant still at almost 34 weeks (tomorrow!).
But it's still hard. I only have a few weeks to eek out the last of the "feel good/feel pregnant" vibes. Little Miss Scarlett will be in our lives in the matter of weeks probably and then I can focus on opening the new chapter of our lives in raising our two kids.
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